Funniest link request

I recieve a lot of link requests, 99.9% of them are simply ignored and deleted (the only ones I generally read are from people I already know). However this next one amused me for sheer amount of work they’d put in. Firstly they had scraped logos and text and created a page of images to all the sites they wanted to request links from, like the following but the page was a lot bigger (62 logos in total).

Next came the link request email (personal names and links removed):

Hello,

I would like to introduce myself to you, my name is D****, and i am the advertising director of a company here in Australia called EovZa Proprietary Limited.

The reason for me writing to you is because recently my team placed (on our website) a direct link to your website’s homepage.

The link incorporates your company/business logo, and a description of your website.

The page that is holding your link is on our server, but is not yet accessible by the public until August 1st (AEST). Giving you time to notify us to remove the link, if need be.

Please read on…

The link is held amongst other links at the following address:

http://****

If you are happy with the link, ..then we ask in return that you place a link to our homepage.

The link to our site is not for advertising purposes, but is intended to improve our ranking in search engines (by building a network of web-sites that link to us). Also known as cross-linking.

Please link to us at: http://www.****

Once we go live with this LINKS page (August 1st), we will regularly be checking each month to ensure you are still maintaining a link to us. We will do this to everyone who links to us (in whom we link to also). To do this I will need you to provide me with the URL-address to where you have placed the link to our website.

So in reference to all of the above, may i ask you to do the following:

IF TAKING PART…

Please reply to this email;
1. Letting me know that you are happy to link to our website,

2. Any changes you have in regards to the description under your link (you may change the description to whatever you like, as long as it does not exceed 50 characters),

3. Please also inform me of the URL-address where you will be placing the link to our home page, and at what date it will be up and running. You may give this to us at a later date if you like, but no later than AUGUST 16th. The link must also be up and running by this date.

IF NOT TAKING PART…

Please reply to this email letting me know you would prefer not to participate, you do not need to give me any reason at all.

Understanding of the dates mentioned in this email:

August 1st – Links page becomes accessible by the public.
August 16th – If I have not heard from you in regards to the URL address of where you have placed our link, both your company/business logo and description, will be removed from our website.

At the bottom of this email, is a cross-linking tip, i recommend reading over it.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this email, and i look forward to hearing from you soon.

My kind regards,

D****
Advertising and New Initiatives Director.

EovZa Proprietary Limited

CROSS-LINKING TIP…

Due to the nature of the products we sell, you may choose not to associate with us. But may I suggest the following:

Place a link to our home page at the very bottom of a particular page (on your website). Make the color of this link, the same color as the background of that page. No one will ever be able to see it and it still counts as a cross-link. The only way someone will know it is there, is if they scroll their mouse over that part of your page.

How’s that for a long winded link request. Love the cross linking tip at the end, duh :) .

About Al Carlton

Al quit the 9 to 5 rat race in January of 2007, before then he was a software engineer and systems architect of financial system. Nowadays Al spends the days running his various businesses and experimenting with different ideas and opportunities.
Al can be found on twitter at AlCarlton.

Comments

  1. WTF? Australians should hire me for better SEO.

    Rajab Bader’s last blog post..I’m finally in Italy

    • As SEO goes that is one of the funniest requests and bits of advice I’ve ever seen. Other funny part was that the product they were promoting was dildos, sex sites should know better :)

      • A few days ago, I was interviewed by an SEO company here in Italy, and when they asked me about the best way to go about acquiring links, I said, linkbait – viral marketing. They stared at me and whenever I mentioned the word blog (which would be used for the viral marketing campaigns) they laughed. What I want to say, is that there are still some SEO companies and professionals who beg for links, nothing wrong with that, but that should be done in a professional non-spammy manner. I myself get a ton of these. They are annoying and funny as well.

        Rajab Bader’s last blog post..I’m finally in Italy

  2. What would be your preferred way to negotiate a link trade then? What would you consider as knowing someone first? People you have established relationships with? Those who you have contacted on your own terms?

    Dan’s last blog post..Some Bad Excuses for Not Making Money Online

    • I don’t do link trades nowadays. I do link out a lot naturally to sites that I think will interest our readers. I’d class knowing somebody if we’ve emailed/commented back and forth or I’ve met them in real life.

  3. That’s embarrassingly bad. To think that someone put that much time into it.

    But on a serious note – you raise a good point – that you delete all requests. I have link builders that do nothing but contact people, there has got to be a better way to actively generate real links.

    • The way I do it is contact people I already know with related sites, call in favors and either pay for or create link bait articles. If you throw out enough link requests I’m sure somebody will bite, but it won’t be me.

  4. You have to give them something for the effort. I don’t think that I’ve ever received a linkrequest with so much work put into it.

    The sad this is that they target gadget sites. Eventhough a dildo might be considered a “gadget” I believe that they would have greater succes but approaching other sex related sites and forums. At least that would make some sense.

    • It’s especially sad when you consider how easy it would be for them to create some great viral content for a sex toy site. I’d make a quiz – “What kind of sex toy are you?”…maybe an “Our dildo recommendations for famous people throughout history” feature…or a series of pieces of famous art with sex toys Photoshopped in…

      The possibilities are endless.

  5. Wow, it’s funny how some people are so focused on gaming the search engines that they don’t even realize when they have passed the point where it would be *easier* to make something that is actually link worthy.

  6. WOOW!! The ‘hidden misterious link tip’ at the end is incredible!! loool this guy never heard about black hat…

    Internet Ganhar Dinheiro’s last blog post..Google Keyword Tool agora mostra números

  7. “Make the color of this link, the same color as the background of that page.”

    Maybe 10 years ago this would have worked mate!!

    Colm’s last blog post..Sony Ericsson W595 Available Q4 2008

  8. My thoughts are, if you want those big links, you have to go after the big sites. BUT, if they’re big, then they must know what they’re doing, so it would be a waste of time to send a dumb link request like this.

    I mean, does he SERIOUSLY think Coolest Gadgets is such a big site and the owners don’t know what they’re doing :-)

    James’s last blog post..WordPress 2.6 is out and it’s Turbo Charged

  9. I pity them really. After putting so much of efforts, I wonder how many really responded to them positively. What a waste of time and effort.

  10. Just ridiculous. They don’t get it at all.

  11. Have to admire their naivite and nerve lol

  12. I would have ignored that email after reading the first two lines! Plus I hate all that “look we have given you a link already, please link back” – Oh great you’ve given me a link on some spammy site, great!

    A geniune request for a link exchange from a related site is a different matter.

  13. These links emails are really very common. I don’t know how do they figure out the ways to pass those spam filters. Don’t they know that link trade is dead long time back.

    • I just want to know who’s taking them up on their offers and thus ensuring that they carry on with their spam. I wish we could find everyone who responds to that sort of spam and take away their computers. Once no one is responding, the spam should stop…right?

  14. The funny thing is that, a few small changes to that letter and some well placed links and it could become a huge viral email on how dumb this person is. It would be emailed around and posted by a ton of blogs.

    Hint: Pretend you have no clue on how to make link bait material. Send out clueless letter showing how dumb you are. Get links!!

    Ghillie Suit Guy’s last blog post..Ghillie Suit Clothing T-Shirts

  15. I personally think that link is not a thing which needs to be begged ! There are ample of links which we can easily backlink from high pr blogs. The only thing is that we should have the right tools. I personally link to more than 10 blogs having PR > 5 everyday.

    And of course link is not all. I also have pages where there is absolutely no links incoming but started with a good PR. It all depends on the keyword density and your keyword compatibility.

    Relevance is also the most important thing that matters. As you know practically speaking relevance is the only thing on which internet works !

  16. true i think its pointless begging for backlinks. if your site is relevant and providing some kind of product, service or information that is useful, then people will naturally link to it anyway!